I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
