I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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