I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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