I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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