My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
