well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
