I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
