the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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