Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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