i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
