would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
