And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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