I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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