ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
