Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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