And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
