well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
