I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
