i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
