Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
