I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just googled if crying burns calories
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
