Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
