You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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