If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
