I love black thongs
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
