I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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