My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
