Christians are straight up FREAKS
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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