brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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