Umm I'm too high to move.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
