Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
