I need help removing her.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
