Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
