i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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