im about as happy as oj after his trial
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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