I bet he comes in French.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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