oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
