i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
