Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
