And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
