Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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