I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
