everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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