uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
