that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
