So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
