they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
