are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
