He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
