And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
