she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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